Review: Without A Cause That’s What I Call Music

Without A Cause Volume 7
That Is What I Call Music
May 19, 2019
Everett Washington

There were clear skies over Normanna Lodge on May 19th. Loyal fans and newcomers alike converged to see the newest entry in Without A Causes impressive series of events. With new talent and regulars on the card and everyone there could hardly wait for the show to start!

Match 1
Tag Team
Priscilla Kelly & Darby Allin
vs.
Daddy’s Money (“Cool Dad” Chris Ross & “King Pin” Johnny Flynn)

When these two teams came out, there was a great deal of posturing. It was clear from the beginning there was still bad blood between these four people. Then “Cool Dad” Chris Ross came forward and issued a challenge. “Anything you can do I can do better,” Chris stated. Priscilla and Darby weren’t about to pass up on this challenge. The two make out and turn to Daddy’s Money. Chris Ross and Johnny Flynn look into one another eyes and lock lips. Their tender moment was suddenly broken when Priscilla and Darby go in and kick the two, thus starting the match.

Priscilla and Chris Ross lock up. Priscilla manages to maneuver Chris to the ropes where she tangles him up and repeatedly kicks his ass! When Johnny Flynn tries to intervene on behalf of his teammate. Priscilla and Darby proceed to and work their opponents over in the corner.

Chris Ross rallies and slams Darby on the mat so hard its highly probable it registered on the Richter Scale at the University of Washington. Then he proceeded to nab Priscilla Kelly and slammed her down on top of Darby! Then Daddy’s Money picks Priscilla and Darby up as though they were mannequins and press their faces together as though they were making out.

Unsatisfied with the humiliation they were reaping against their opponents “Cool Dad” Chris Ross slams Darby again and set him up for his partner. Johnny Flynn went in to deliver what was not doubt going to be a devastating blow, and then Priscilla came from above and performed a Missile Drop Kick on Daddy’s Money.

Darby pulls himself up and begins working Chris Ross in the corner throwing one punch after another. Johnny Flynn moves in to save his partner when Priscilla intercedes. She rolls “Kingpin” Flynn and gets a two count.

Chris Ross pulls it together and head butts Darby Allin. Johnny Flynn moves in and takes Darby by surprise. He gets him pinned and to the surprise of everyone gets the three count on Darby Allin!

Daddy’s Money wins!

 

Match 2
Singles Competition
Guillermo Rosas vs. Daniel Makabe

Guillermo Rosas came out with his cowboy hat and a length of rope. It was clear this audience was a bit skeptical of this young man as he made his way to the ring. Then when the “technical genius” Daniel Makabe emerged from behind the black curtain there was no question who this audience was behind.

These two locked up right away and worked one another’s arms. There were multiple reversals and their foot work was on point. Daniel finally got the upper hand and managed to flip Guillermo and kicked in him the face twice. Then in a moment of vulnerability Guillermo managed to get a crotch shot on Daniel Makabe who was clearly in horrific pain.

Guillermo took this opportunity to get a double face kick on Makabe and began working him in the corner with a series of chops. He then gets Makabe tangled in the ropes and gives more chops. Throwing chops happen to be one of Guillermo Rosas’ specialties. Makabe can no doubt bear witness.

Makabe managed to pull through and clothes lined Guillermo in a turn of the tide. Then Daniel lands a devastating German Suplex on his opponent. He kicks Guillermo in the head and manages to get a two count. Guillermo then rallied and rolled Makabe up and also got a two count.

After escaping Guillermo’s pin attempt, Daniel moves in and gets his opponent in an Octopus stretch. Just when it looked like Guillermo was about to submit, he reached for the ropes and the hold was broken. Rosas retaliates with a German Suplex of his own and lays on the chops.

Then something amazing happened. In a feat of technical wizardry Daniel Makabe brings Guillermo to the mat, rolls him up and gets the three count!

Daniel Makabe wins!

Displeased with his loss, Rosas grabs his rope and begins to strangle Makabe until the ref moves in to break it up.

 

Match 3
Tag Team
The Voros Twins vs. The Academy (Nick Radford & Thom Alman)

Nick Radford came out and introduced the WACers to his tag team partner, Thom Alman. This gentleman is tall and stacked with an intimidating presence. Nick has crafted another poetic masterpiece for the unappreciative audience. He barely has a chance to read more than a line or two when he was interrupted by their opponent’s entrance music.

The Voros twins entered the ring. These two young men wore infectious smiles and are identical down to the color of their shoelaces. The crowd loved them the moment they came out on stage. Chris and Patrick Voros are unquestionably the crowd favorite.

Patrick and Thom lock up the moment the bell rings. Thom demonstrates his superior strength and nearly laughs off a chop Patrick managed to land on Thom’s chest. Then the unthinkable happens! A literary atrocity! One of the Voros twins managed to nap the book from Nick Radfords hands. Then the philistine ripped a page from the book and throws the crumpled page at Thom!

THE VOROS TWINS HAVE DESTROYED LITERATURE!!!!

Nick distraught over the atrocity played out in front of him, entered the ring and gets shoved into the corner and chopped by one of the twins. Nick recovers from the literary loss and manages a reversal getting one of the twins in the corner and delivering his own set of devastating chops.

The other Voros twin dives out onto Thom standing outside the ring. Thom gets his pay back by choking one of the twins on the ropes while Nick addressed his concerns about the destruction of literature with the Ref.

Thom brutalizes the Voros twins with choke slams, chops and a series of devastating moves. At one-point Nick goes in and gets a two count on one of the twins. Nick gets a Voros in the corner and works him over and then slams him on the mat where he proceeds to stand on his opponent’s throat as he takes a brief respite. He then moves in and gets another two count.

The Voros get a reversal and begins to work Nick in the corner. Thom intervenes and slams one of the twins on the mat. He then picks him up by the throat and slams him against the mat again. He gets a two count but the Voros manages to pull through.

Nick reengages with the ref in an important discussion on literature. Meanwhile Thom devastated his opponent with a series of acts that some people might consider questionable. However, at this point with the literary atrocity performed by the Voros twins, drastic measures had to be taken! Thom moved in for a pin and got the three count!

The Academy wins! The saviors of fine literature!

 

Match 4
Without A Cause Championship Title Match
Champion Chase James vs. “Filthy” Tom Lawlor

In the halftime main event, we have Chase James making his first title defense since winning the Without A Cause Championship! Chase is loved by the WACer’s even if evil owner/promoter Max Zaleski is working against his own champion. Brought in by said evil overlord, “Filthy” Tom Lawlor is here not only to win and take the belt for himself, but he was there to destroy Chase James.

The moment the bell rang these two clashed in what is perhaps one of the most aggressive matches we’ve seen at Without A Cause. These two engage in a struggle to get the upper hand with some impressive mat work. Tom managed to get Chase into a head lock and slammed him into the mat twice. Chase managed to pull a reversal and gets Tom’s head locked between his legs. Tom manages to get a devastating punch in and goes in for a two count on the champion.

Tom lays into Chases arm. Chase manages to pull out and throws a cop. Then Tom gets Chase in the corner and delivers a series of chops so brutal they echoed through the hall. Chase manages to pull out and strikes Tom in the chest twice.

Lawlor manages to get Chase into a horrifying submission hold, twisting his legs and applying pressure. You could see the pain on Chase’s face as he tried to endure the incredible test of his endurance. It was beginning to appear our Champion wasn’t going to make it through his first title defense. Lawlor, doing Max Zaleski’s bidding, was determined to make Chase James a fluke in the history books at WAC. Then Chase’s ring awareness kicked in. He reached out and grabbed a hold of the rope. The hold was released.

This match was brutal. Both men were sweating buckets. You could see the bruises forming and the sheer exhaustion on their faces. They could barely stand. This match went outside the ring, around it and back in on multiple occasions. There were several two counts on each of them and just when you thought they couldn’t possibly pull out one more time, they did!

The two of them engaged in a back and forth with punches, barely standing on their own feet. Chase managed to get another two count on Tom, who pulled out. Tom power slams Chase on the mat and gets another two count, and Chase pulls out. Tom gets Chase in a choke hold and the Champion powers out. Chase moves in and lands a devastating kick to Tom’s face. Tom goes down. Chase moves in and gets the two count!

Chase James wins and still the Without A Cause Champion!

 

Match 5
Singles Competition
Dante Smythe vs. Dave Turner

Dante Smythe came out as intermission came to an end and everyone was returning to their seats. He had some choice words, something about how stupid everyone in the audience was. Then there was something about how he wasn’t given his due respect and how he deserves to wrestle a big name.

Displeased with Dante holding the audience hostage to his hyperbole, The Black Sheep Dave Turner emerged from behind the curtain to thunderous applause. Shortly after entering the ring Dante Smythe gets a cheep shot punching Dave Turner in the family jewels! It didn’t take long for Dave to recover and suddenly Dante Smythe was flying across the ring crashing on the mat in a heap of gloom and sorrow.

It was a curious thing to see Dante pull himself up. One might think he would be wise enough to play dead and hope his opponent was satisfied. Not our Gloom Bunny. He pulled himself up and went after Dave only to end up on the receiving end of a head butt! Dave then picked him up by the throat and slammed his against the turnbuckle.

It wasn’t looking good for Mr. Smythe and then he managed to slam Dave Turners head against the turnbuckle dazing his giant opponent. Smythe’s victory was short lived. Dave got a hold of him and slammed him against the mat multiple times.

Dante then managed to get Dave in a head lock, but that didn’t last for long. Dave picked up Dante and slammed him against the mat, moved in for the cover and got the three count!

The Black Sheep, Dave Turner, Wins!

As the match concluded and everyone cleared the ring, we had a surprise appearance by aspiring arsonist Izzy McQueen. She strutted her way into the ring and continued a devastating beat down on Dante Smythe. Why you might ask? It seems unlikely Ms. McQueen is going to explain herself to anyone. However, it seems likely we’re going to see Dante Smythe face Izzy McQueen in the ring in the very near future.

Dante was so devastated after his ring appearance he demanded the ref carry him away. Referee Kevin Cubano obliged.

Match 6
Singles Competition
“O.G.B.” Jordie Taylor vs. Chris Cruz

Old Greedy Bastard, Jordie Taylor returns to Without A Cause in his second appearance. Last month we saw him win a four-way match. On this particular occasion he will be facing a young man whose star is on the rise in the world of professional wrestling. ER nurse on a rotating shift and professional wrestler in his off time, Chris Cruz!

To say Jordie has a somewhat antagonistic relationship with the audience might be an understatement. Chris Cruz on the other hand is quite the dazzler when it comes to his interactions with the crowd.

Chris Cruz moved in to make sure Referee Aubrey Edwards heart rate was in good order. Jordie wasn’t having any of that, he moved in and grabbed the stethoscope and tossed it out of the ring. He then grabbed Chris and slammed him on the mat.

Mr. Cruz quickly recovered and delivered a devastating kick to Jordie’s face driving him out of the ring. Chris was climbing through the ropes to go after his opponent only to have Jordie move in and pull the rope causing it to snap back and devastate Chris’ private region. Jordie took Chris by the hair and slammed him onto the mat and got a two count.

After a quick recovery Chris gets to his feet only to be shoved by Jordie who seemed hell bent on destroying his opponent. Chris landed multiple punches on his opponent and then Jordie shoved the ref out of his way and got a cheap shot in on his opponent as he was trying to climb the ropes. Referee Aubrey Edwards is not someone to mess with. She got in Jordie Taylor’s face and shoved him, knocking him on his ass. This act was accompanied by a stern lecture and applause from the audience.

Jordie barely recovered from his encounter with the ref and quickly turned his attention to his opponent. Jordie got Chris onto the mat shoved his knees into his back and stretched his arms backwards. You could see the agony on Chris’ face as he did everything he could to pull through. Frustrated he couldn’t get his opponent to submit, Jordie released Chris and kneed him in the stomach.

It wasn’t looking good for Mr. Cruz, but he managed to execute a move that devastate his opponent. A Heart Punch sent Jordie reeling backwards in pain and crumbling to the mat. Chris moved in for the cover and got a two count.

Jordie bounced back and got Chris in a head lock. Mr. Taylor pulled back and started trying to choke his opponent out. Chris wasn’t looking good. Then he started elbowing his way out of the choke hold. As he was pulling oxygen back into his body, Jordie climbed the ropes and dived down doing a double eye poke sending Chris to the mat. Jordie went in for the cover and got the three count!

“O.G.B.” Jordie Tyler Wins!

 

Match 7
Tag Team
The Strays (Judas Icarus & Tyler Elliot)
vs.
4 Minutes of Heat (“Rock God” Ricky Gibson & Eddie Pearl)

“Rock God” Ricky Gibson came out with his platinum mullet and his Four Minutes of Heat, tag partner Eddie Pearl. These two gentlemen from the Portland area, were not without their fans in the audience. However, when the Strays, Judas Icarus and Tyler Elliot entered the ring it was clear they were the crowd favorites for this match. They have spent the last few months building an enduring relationship with the WACers.

When the bell rang, Tyler Elliot and Eddie Pearl entered the ring. Eddie started working Tyler’s arm and managed to flip the Stray onto the mat. Tyler managed a reversal and worked Eddie’s arm. Mr. Pearl wasn’t too pleased with this and threw a surprise punch rolled Tyler and got a one count.

The guys from Four Minutes of Heat were not particularly fond of the Stray’s bare feet. They suggested the Stray’s had filthy disgusting feet, and while it had obviously been a very long time since either of them had a proper pedicure it was obvious Max Zaleski turned the garden hose to them before letting them into the venue.

If you are an astute scholar of professional wrestling you can likely imagine where this is going to end up! Sure, enough Tyler and Icarus went in for the kill. They teamed up and performed a double kick to the head on each of their opponents and a brief moment of chaos, and it happened… Ricky and Eddie were on the mat each one had a Stray’s foot in their mouth. They recoiled in horror gagging and spitting filth.

This match broke out in mayhem. Tyler double kicks Eddie sending him out of the ring. The Strays get Ricky in the corner and work him over! They execute some impressive moves including a twin tower chokeslam and get a two count on Ricky Gibson.

Eddie intervenes and brutalizes Tyler, before Ricky comes in and executes a horrifying back breaker. Then Four Minutes of Heat performed some coordinated moves on Tyler devastating our poor Stray. They kept Tyler in the corner keeping him from tagging his partner. Then Ricky performed another back breaker on Tyler who was reduced to a puddle of flesh on the mat.

Then Eddie came down and performed an eye poke on Tyler and got a two count. Tyler escaped and managed to tag Icarus, and Eddie tagged Ricky. As these two men battled in the ring, Tyler climbed to the top rope and dived down on Ricky. Then the Strays coordinated some fantastic moves and even executed a Canadian Destroyer from the apron to the floor.

These two teams performed every move in their impressive arsenals. Just when it looked like the Strays were getting the upper hand, Four Minutes of Heat rallied and brutalized Tyler and Icarus. Then Ricky got Icarus on the mat and went in for the cover getting the three count!

Four Minutes of Heat wins!

As Ricky and Eddie returned to the locker room, while Icarus and Tyler lay devastated in the ring, someone emerged from behind the black curtains. A tall gentleman, wearing slacks, a white button down and a black tie. We’ve seen this man before… Lance Pierson made his debut in a fatal four way match a couple months ago. Why is he here?

He didn’t have any words for the audience. Instead he went in the ring and performed a string of power moves on Tyler and Icarus. The Strays were tossed around and slammed against the turnbuckle and the hard wood floor. It would appear Lance was determined to send these two young men to the hospital before disappearing back behind the curtains.

The takeaway from this brutal beat down? It is likely Lance, a member of the Eh Team, was showing his interest in response to the open call by the Strays last month. We all use different forms of communication. Mr. Pierson appears to be more of a non-verbal communicator.

 

 

 

Match 8
No Disqualification last man standing competition
“Local Celebrity” Steve Migs vs. Pitfall Jones

Never in the history of WAC has there been a match quite like this one. This competition came about as a culmination of a grudge developed over several months of back and forth. It all began when Pitfall Jones tagged with Steve Migs only to steal his blue check mark after the match. Thus, a divide was created that would fester at the very foundations of Without A Cause!

Here we have a no disqualification last man standing match. This means anything can happen, there are no illegal moves, and no one can win with a pin or submission. The only way to win is to beat your opponent so severely they are down for the ten count… The things we saw in this match… Referee Aubrey Edwards earned her money tonight!

As Pitfall entered the ring, he began tossing old VHS video cassettes around the ring. The audience broke out into their rendition of the Bugles immortal classic “Video Killed the Radio Star.” Local Celebrity, Steve Migs… a radio personality… didn’t seem particularly keen on the audience’s response to Pitfall’s pandering. You could tell this was going to get ugly… and it did!

These two competitors went at it hitting one another in the head with VHS tapes. A copy of “Get Shorty” was crushed over Steve Migs’ head. Migs in kind picked up copies of Indiana Jones tapes and smashed them onto Pitfall Jones’ mug! There was video cassette carnage all over the ring.

This brutal exchange continued for a while, with these two throwing chops, video cassettes and verbal banters. Pitfall slammed Steve onto the mat and piled a bunch of cassettes on Steve’s chest and stomped on them! A collective cringe could be seen across the audience.

Steve however got his revenge. After slamming Pitfall onto the mat, he pulled a black velvet bag out from under the ring. He moved up behind Pitfall and smacked him across the back of the head with the bag. As Pitfall lay prone on the ground Steve opened the bag and poured the contents onto his opponent. An enormous pile of snakes fell onto Pitfall Jones! His Achilles Heel! Snakes!!!!!!! They were everywhere! His mouth, ears, all over his face and chest! It was horrifying! (No actual snakes were harmed in this match they were all fake plastic… Kind of like Promoter Max Zaleski…)

Chairs were brought out and these two men brutalized one another with those chairs. Steve retreats outside the ring and the two exchange chops and stalk one another around the ring like predators ready to kill. Then Pitfall sets up a chair and gets an exhausted Migs in the chair where he ties him up with VHS cassette video tape. The radio star was bound by video! Then the unthinkable happened! It is something that will forever scar the memory of those present…

Pitfall Jones summoned all the children in the audience to form a line and encouraged them to chop Steve Migs! An endless parade of children queued up and chopped our prone local celebrity. Some of those wallet draining snot faucets were pretty good at it too! Then there was someone who looked a bit tall to be a child…  Oh! Hello Daniel Makabe! It would seem one of the wrestlers came out of the locker room to get their own shot at Migs.

Eventually Pitfall unceremoniously threw Migs back in the ring and these two men continued a battle so brutal and vicious it couldn’t go on for much longer… or could it? Pitfall brutalized Steve leaving him twitching on the mat. He grabbed a table and set it up in the ring and then pulled Steve up to the top rope setting him up for a body slam into the table. As Pitfall began climbing the ropes to execute his move the spark of life returned to Migs. He began striking his opponent and managed a reversal. Steve Migs body slammed Pitfall Jones into the table.

Laying in the rubble that was once a table, Pitfall Jones was barely conscious. Steve Migs reveled in his successful maneuver and collects something from outside the ring… It’s a stapler. The audience knew what was coming as Migs moved in and tried several times to staple one of the snakes onto his opponents back. Pitfall fought back but could not escape Steve’s grasp. Then Steve collected the good doctors had and proceeded to staple the hat to Pitfalls head!

Pitfall recovered and it seemed almost unimaginable that these two men were still functioning. There was desperation on their faces. Referee Aubrey Edwards started the count on several occasions as these two men lay on the mat exhausted and languishing on the cusp of unconsciousness. Yet they managed to pull out and continue their grudge match.

Video tapes were thrown… Punches landed… and in the end Steve Migs hit the mat and the ref made the count to ten!

Pitfall Jones wins!

In the end these two men shook hands and ended their grudge by paying respects. However, Steve made a point of noting that Pitfall Jones was not worthy of the Blue Check Mark Belt as he is not a Twitter verified individual. Maybe next time Pitfall!

Once again Without A Cause executed what is perhaps their strongest show to date. Each match tells a story, and you can see the talent is having as much fun as everyone else in the audience. It creates a symbiotic relationship that is not easy to accomplish. It is the reason there is a loyal fan base here. People, including myself, keep coming back because there is something special here. There is a community, a tribe, a type of family, and everyone is welcome… even you.

Philip Jones
About Philip Jones 22 Articles
A social service worker by day, and a writer by night, I defy all labels, boxes and societal definitions. I am a classically trained violinist, published author and proud member of the LGBTQ community. I spend most of my time at home indulging in my favorite interests including reading, writing, horror films, eating and watching independent wrestling shows.

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